As we were discussing "In the Miro District" in class, Dr. Vince stated that it seems like for men (or rather boys, as this is the coming of age to become men) define who they are by getting away from their fathers, or in this stories case, the narrator's grandfather. Afterwards, he asked the girls in the room if this is true for them as well, but most of them said no if I remember correctly (although one lady said it was that way with her and her sister), which actually tied along with what I have been learning in my Developmental Psychology class. Growing up, girls tend to enjoy enabling activities (their actions and remarks tend to support others and sustain the interaction) while boys tend to enjoy constricting activities (one partner tries to emerge as the victor by threatening or contradicting the other), which to me suggests that even at an early age, boys strive to be different.
This also went along with my own experiences, except instead of striving to be different from my father, I strived to break away from my older and younger brother, which is surprisingly difficult. I feel a deep sense of shame whenever I'm compared to them, even if I came out as the better brother, because I feel like we shouldn't even be comparable. I strive to be nothing like them, yet I'm constantly hearing the same things.
"Oh, you guys look just alike, are ya'll brothers?"
"Well he's already just like his brother, you're a little late Parrish."
"Awe, he's so nice and caring, ya'll must be brothers."
It all makes me sick. I wish I knew just how to actually gain my own identity, instead of feeling like I'm just another of the Parrish boys...
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