Yeah, I did make this class my own!

At the beginning of my English 222 class, Dr. Vince presented us with an usual challenge: to Blogg about our class readings and to take ownership of this class. I have never tried blogging before (although it seems relatively fun), nor have I really felt like I ever owned any class I've ever taken, so this was new to me. I like interesting challenges though, so I set out to do just that.

I believe I have succeeded in that mission.

Instead of just retelling what was said, I tried to incorporate my own ideas and/or experiences into my bloggs, like:

 I was so happy for this little farmer guy for his triumph over the military and death itself, yet it actually was just him picturing what he wanted to happen before he croaked.


At first, I was able to accept that, and even wonder about that sort of thing myself, debating on whether or not it is possible to be in love with someone and have sex with another and not feel guilty about it. In the end, however, I came to the same conclusion that most of our society has rammed down our throats for years: no.


So is the real thing necessarily better than others? I say no. But at the same time, that doesn't necessarily mean that the real thing is less than others either. 

It wasn't just about me adding my own opinions into the stories either, some of my bloggs were myself telling my own story and how it meshed with our readings, usually showing how I grew a little bit from those stories, like these! :

While sweeping the floor, Roosevelt's challenge kept popping into my head. At first I tried to reason it away, surely it only applied to physical things, right? But eventually I realized that Roosevelt's message wasn't just about physical challenges (although without a doubt that's one of the things he was saying), but his challenge was to step out of ALL of our comfort zones to build our character. Keeping with what I know and getting lazy in it would only end up stunting my growth and keeping me from going forward.


To sum it up, I feel like I'm a pretty darn lucky guy, when you look at people who can't even manage to get food, let alone shelter for even a night or a nice bath! And that's not all! Even the poor people in our society are better off than people in other countries who get even less than our poor does!


The point of that story is simply this: at least in my experience, the less words you use, the more bitter and angry you come off. "Cathedral" does a very good job of capturing that style, and it reminded me exactly why I prefer to use a lot more words to get my point across.


I also kinda took advantage of these assignment as a way to vent out some frustrations and face some of my demons... like these:


It all makes me sick. I wish I knew just how to actually gain my own identity, instead of feeling like I'm just another of the Parrish boys...


This wasn't the first time one of our managers has asked me to work on register, and I'm sure it won't be the last. They all seem to think that I am ready for the register, unlike myself, who is perfectly content with sticking to sweeping (which is always what I tend to be doing when they ask me about register). I am comfortable with staying in lobby, I know how to do it.


So basically, what I'm trying to say is this: I tried my best to use this class not only as a requirement for graduation, but actually as a learning experience (something that strangely seems to allude the education field, or so I have felt recently), and I (somewhat) enjoyed this class :)


Thank you for reading all of these bloggs!

Bipolar Economy

Recently while at work, I have been continuously assigned the role as Drive Thru Backup (the one who talks in that speaker box), so I am constantly asking customers what they want to eat. As annoying as that is (the headset gives me a headache), we're also timed on how long the customers are in the Drive Thru, to ensure customer satisfaction.

But we had been taking too long apparently, so one of our managers decided to write us up if we don't stay below a certain time, and if we get three write-ups, we lose our job. Thus, we quickly began treating the Drive Thru as a race to get rid of the customers.

Our managers also want us to take in as much money as possible, so they began inforcing a policy that requires us to ask every customer if they'd like any extra sauce or for us to upsize their drinks, for a small fee of course.

In other words, they want us to harrass our customers to buy more things, then push them out as quickly as possible...

Suddenly I begin hating the customers (they're bringing up "my drive time"!) and the customers begin getting annoyed with us bothering them to get more things. It's like we're constantly fighting each other, and all of our coworkers feel like our only allies. You're either with us or against us.

In "Glengarry Glen Ross", it seems tp be even worse than that. Their job is to swindle people out of as much money as possible. They're not crooks (well, most of them aren't), it's legal what they do, selling land.

Here is a quotr that I think drives my point home though:

"They signed, Ricky. It was GREAT. It was fucking great. It was like they wilted all at once. No GESTURE... nothing. Like together. They, I swear to God, they both kind of IMPERCEPTIBLY SLUMPED."

Our economy is about competition. Not just with our fellow salesmen though, we compete with even the consumers.

Admiration

As I was reading some of Billy Collins's work, I came across "I Chop Some Parsley While Listening to Art Blakey's Version of 'Three Blind Mice'," I just started giggling to myself.

Why? Well first off, the idea itself is funny to me, as it was intended. However, what made this particularly funny to me was the fact that this sounds exactly like some of my conversations with my brothers.

I should point out that usually when we start talking like that, either my mom or my sister gets mad at us and tells us to stop being "smart-butts".

For him to not only be allowed to do that sort of thing, but to be PAID to do that? Billy Collins is my new hero!

The Cathedral Effect

In Raymond Carver's "Cathedral", the narrator is a very minimal speaker. He just says what is there, that's pretty much it. Most people, however, are at least a little more flamboyant with our words, myself personally (if you haven't noticed) like to use a lot of words, even when I'm texting.

One day, my little brother and I we both texting this girl (at the time my girlfriend, but also my brother's friend), but she just randomly stopped replying to us. Being the thoughtless creatures we are, we continued to text her, until she blew up on each of us. Naturally, we got the message and left her alone, but later she apoligized to us bu explained why she couldn't talk very long.

At this point, a striking difference between my brother and I appeared. Both of us replied differently. Luke's reply was simply, "It's alright, later." My reply on the other hand was, " Don't worry about it, everyone gets stressed every now and then, and us bothering you doesn't help! So I understand, take all the time you need!"

She continued to apoligize to me about it, but just left it alone with my brother, and my brother was mad because I kept texting her even though she said she couldn't talk, but I felt like just using a few words to reply made it sound cold and like I was angry, so I continued to reply when she apoligized.

The point of that story is simply this: at least in my experience, the less words you use, the more bitter and angry you come off. "Cathedral" does a very good job of capturing that style, and it reminded me exactly why I prefer to use a lot more words to get my point across.

Quarter-life Crisis

I am nearly 20 years old, and I usually hate my life.

Why? Honestly, I'm not quite sure. I guess because I feel like I'm boring. I don't really do anything besides work and school, I only speak when spoken to, I do as I'm told. I never really made my own identity, I just follow along (not willingly of course, just look back at my last few bloggs, one of them is about me wanting to have an identity separate from my brothers) and try to stay out of trouble.

When? For a few years now honestly, but it really struck me hard whenever I started college last year and realized just how sheltered and boring I really was.

I've considered trying more dangerous things, challenging my concept of me, trying to break out of the mask others created for me. I've thought about drinking and/or smoking (still haven't done either), I've thought about trying to be more outgoing and maybe getting a girlfriend (just thought again), I've even considered joining the military (I'm too lazy though, and let's be honest, I don't exactly have the physique for that), but usually those sort of thoughts end as just that. Thoughts.

I'm not sure if this sort of thing is common, but I do know that Mid-Life-Crises are very common, and John Updike's "Separating" is about one man getting a divorce because of his Mid-Life-Crisis.

I've tried talking to people about it, but usually I either get laughed at (apparently I joke a lot) or I get told I'm being too dramatic, so if this is more than just my own feelings, I'd appreciate someone getting back to me on that.

A Broken Image

It's a very easy trap to fall in to, and as far as I've noticed, everyone's done it at some point in their life.

"My situation is horrible, everyone should feel sorry for me, no one feels worse than me right now!"

I was at work one day, and a coworker and an assistant manager were talking, so naturally, being the creeper that I am (ssssss... sorry, Minecraft joke...), I started to eavesdrop.

"I hate the idea of minimum wage, I hate the idea of poverty, I hate that some people have to work their..."

At first, I was thinking, yeah, preach it Andy (that's the assistant manager's name), but after a little while of listening to them talk, I was disgusted...

I may not live the most flamboyant lifestyle, but I do live surprisingly well. I have a somewhat stable roof over my head, I eat plenty of meals a day (junk food, but it's still food), I have light, water, I even have a good car and good insurance on the car and the apartment, a decent phone, and I still can afford all of these things with a little money leftover! This is, of course, on that minimum wage they were discussing, working about 30 hours/week. I also am able to go to school, in a safe environment, and be educated in many different subjects.

To sum it up, I feel like I'm a pretty darn lucky guy, when you look at people who can't even manage to get food, let alone shelter for even a night or a nice bath! And that's not all! Even the poor people in our society are better off than people in other countries who get even less than our poor does!

But humans define their lives with suffering (that is a loose quotation of the Matrix), we feel like if we're not suffering we're not really living, so we rationalize that by finding things to complain about, just showing how spoiled we really are. I've never had my home broken before, my parents are currently still together. I'm better off than the narrator in "The Broken Home." It's just a hard concept to grasp whenever you're staring down the barrel of life's challenges, but once you grasp that, life actually seems very cheerful, even in the face of hopelessness and bleakness.

In the Parrish District

As we were discussing "In the Miro District" in class, Dr. Vince stated that it seems like for men (or rather boys, as this is the coming of age to become men) define who they are by getting away from their fathers, or in this stories case, the narrator's grandfather. Afterwards, he asked the girls in the room if this is true for them as well, but most of them said no if I remember correctly (although one lady said it was that way with her and her sister), which actually tied along with what I have been learning in my Developmental Psychology class. Growing up, girls tend to enjoy enabling activities (their actions and remarks tend to support others and sustain the interaction) while boys tend to enjoy constricting activities (one partner tries to emerge as the victor by threatening or contradicting the other), which to me suggests that even at an early age, boys strive to be different.

This also went along with my own experiences, except instead of striving to be different from my father, I strived to break away from my older and younger brother, which is surprisingly difficult. I feel a deep sense of shame whenever I'm compared to them, even if I came out as the better brother, because I feel like we shouldn't even be comparable. I strive to be nothing like them, yet I'm constantly hearing the same things.
"Oh, you guys look just alike, are ya'll brothers?"
"Well he's already just like his brother, you're a little late Parrish."
"Awe, he's so nice and caring, ya'll must be brothers."
It all makes me sick. I wish I knew just how to actually gain my own identity, instead of feeling like I'm just another of the Parrish boys...